Some assembly required

Last night I started putting together Ally’s Christmas present, the Ultimate Wood Kitchen. Yes, I know we are reinforcing gender stereotypes by implying that little girls are happiest fulfilling a role of domestic servitude in an oppressive, patriarchal society yadda yadda yadda. I don’t want to hear it. If Gloria Steinem wants to give me grief, well, bring it on, sister! My daughter likes kitchens. End of story.

According to the surprisingly coherent instructions, there are 25 steps to the process and I made it through the first seven, so I’m on pace to finish by Christmas Eve. If not, I’ll have to turn in my mechanical engineering degree. Strangely, one of the hex bolts came to us unthreaded and utterly worthless. Nevertheless, I pressed on, rationalizing that the thing was probably over-designed anyway. We hope to have it set up for Christmas morning so she’ll see it when she goes downstairs. Darn thing is heavy, too. And taking up more space than it did in the box, so keeping it hidden will be a challenge.

One of her stocking stuffers is the “Catch the Moon” book and CD, by Lisa Loeb and Elizabeth Mitchell. A couple of the songs are featured on Noggin, and they seem tolerable enough to grown ups. At least they don’t make me want to run from the room screaming.

Speaking of negative stereotypes, we hope to keep Ally ignorant of Bratz and their equally tawdry progeny, Bratz Babyz. The less said about them, the better.

Christmas dinner this year is at our place, and Christmas dinner means roast beef. And roast beef calls out for a big red wine, so it’ll probably be Barboursville’s Octagon or Nebbiolo. Or both. The Nebbiolo only gets better with age, so I’m tempted to let it be.

Church will be on Christmas Eve this year, no Sunday service. I know, big controversy, right? Truth is, I could go either way. We used to go Saturdays as a rule when we had the option. Seems the only churches doing one day or the other are the really big ones or the really small ones.

Don't know how active I'll be between now and then, so I'll say it now: Have a blessed Christmas.